It’s been something like 5 years since I’ve written to this thing, and may prove to be 5 more still before I write to it again. Not that it matters, being that it’s a purposefully darkweb blog that no one’s read from in a very long time, as my logs confirm. Life continues to ebb… Continue reading Returning home
Category: Diary
My online journal, meant for my expression and self care
Life in the Fast Lane: A Thanksgiving invitation for my experimental/sociopolitically-motivated friends:
Howdy facebook. How’s it hanging. As y’all surely know, it’s Thanksgiving in the U. S. this week. And if you’ve been around here much in the past, you might remember a little bit about what I think of Thanksgiving. :poop emoji: I’m taking a bit of a different track this year, and I wanna share… Continue reading Life in the Fast Lane: A Thanksgiving invitation for my experimental/sociopolitically-motivated friends:
Untitled
In contrast to this Black Sparrow clusterfuck, I’m periodically thinking of someone named Heather Dwyer. Heather is the person from 4 culture who contacted me a month after a grant application due date to let me know that my application was almost complete; I just needed to upload work samples, and if I could do… Continue reading Untitled
Borderline
In the beginning, the plan for Year of the Kat was to get on medication. That, thus far, has not come to pass, mainly due to the runaround and wait times in seeing a psychiatrist meaning I had one single appointment before I left on tour (in which the psyche questioned whether I needed medication… Continue reading Borderline
2017 Arc Fellowship Grant
Submitting this application nearly didn’t happen. If not for Heather at 4culture encouraging me to submit work samples a month after the official deadline had passed, I’d have not been in the running for this $12,000 grant. Here’s what I’d forgotten I wrote, and the work samples I included. Inspiration: I am compelled to create… Continue reading 2017 Arc Fellowship Grant
OptimumDesk.exe / ODService CPU hog won’t uninstall
My last 24 hours: 1) Did the steps in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyYB07SUPcI&feature=youtu.be to confirm the title executables were the reason dad’s win10 machine blared at 99% cpu usage unless in safe mode — did all those steps with every instance of eventvwr or task manager taking upwards of 4 minutes to load. 2) Found this, which confirmed… Continue reading OptimumDesk.exe / ODService CPU hog won’t uninstall
On minimization as patriarchal reflex
To follow up on that post about at least starting to learn about something that is painfully obvious to women: patriarchy inflicts the stress of constant bodily vigilance at best and acute terror at worse: All the comments were amazing. So many stood out, like those that reported on strategies for increasing safety in taxis.… Continue reading On minimization as patriarchal reflex
#hotline
Lately, I have been very raw and sensitive and emotionally reactive. Being that way comes with effects, which include being oversensitive to damaging others. Things like feeling really gutted for days if I unintentionally hurt someones feelings, and digging too hard into myself to look for subconscious sinister motivation, when I forget or misconstrue boundaries… Continue reading #hotline
Brought to you by Instagram
I’ve been observably manic since last week, and my appointment with my social worker was canceled this week. I’ve fallen into the online social justice trap after a successful march on Sunday where I stepped into the opportunity to utilize my skills and street medic, expecting that I would have the aftercare of a therapy… Continue reading Brought to you by Instagram
The Year of the Kat
In 2014, I began the Year of the Nee, choosing to go a year (and change, it turned out) celibate and without intoxicants of any kind. Overlapping that year, the two years of unofficial survival experimentation of #vanlife began. And now I float, disconnected, purposeless, again in need of healing and self acceptance. It’s about… Continue reading The Year of the Kat