Every year, google calendar reminds me that June 27th is my Name Day. Unlike my birthday, which is a passive obligation based in celebrating something I had very little to do with, my name day brings me a sense of pride and reverence for myself and the work I have done to actualize my own… Continue reading ANNIVERSARY: NAME DAY
Tag: Year of the Nee
Belonging
I used to think I would never find a place I belonged. The lonliness filled me to the point that for a long time I didn’t even have the energy to wander anymore, looking for it, literally or figuratively. I’d talk myself out of going anywhere I felt I might find my place before the… Continue reading Belonging
ANNIVERSARY: Name Day
Simultaneously like yesterday, yet longer ago than it seems, I was about two months into Year of the Nee, my official year of celibacy and no intoxicants. I’d come to embark upon that decision in large part due to my romantic relationships and the patterns I had seen in them, one of those patterns being… Continue reading ANNIVERSARY: Name Day
Achievement Unlocked: Year of the Nee
Commonly, upon achieving some sort of long term goal, a leader is supposed to have some sort of rousing speech full of pithy insights and inspiring prose. But what of long-term goals that ultimately involve only the leader? Who are those speeches really for, anyway? In short: I don’t have a speech or a big… Continue reading Achievement Unlocked: Year of the Nee
Fluid
Identity. It’s ideally supposed to be fluid, but not too fluid. Stable, but not stagnant. A means of psychic survival, context, and reference. A way to form and rationalize our routines and habits. A way to garner an illusion of a security and control in ones experience, and view of, life. Part of my approach… Continue reading Fluid
Tiny dreams hit the road
As part of Year of the Nee, I’ve recognized a few things about myself that I’d discovered at one time and then lost again. Things like an affinity for dinosaurs, and reading fantasy and sci-fi books. I’ve also gotten back to music by making a very focused album (the whole thing is about patriarchy) in… Continue reading Tiny dreams hit the road
bobbing cork in a bucket
On one hand, my ‘fuck the bucket’ epiphany (and artistic ritual) was really valuable to align myself with a deeper knowledge. Taking into account that myself, crabs who snip at my heels, and the crabs whose heels I am compelled to snip, were never meant to be in a fucking bucket in the first place… Continue reading bobbing cork in a bucket
Valentines 2015
“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself” ― Simone de Beauvoir This Year of the Nee valentines day, I am celebrating myself, my accomplishments, my efforts, and the fruits of… Continue reading Valentines 2015
Say Something
“Some are quick to use the crabs in a bucket trope, but it’s important to remember that crabs were never meant to be piled in a bucket.” – Ryan Dalton Fuck your fucking bucket. Fuck your fucking fear. Fuck you for trying to keep me in it with you. Fuck you for trying to hold… Continue reading Say Something
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“Love is challenging in all its forms. Familial love, love in friendship, love in romance. Love in our relationships with ourselves. There are all sorts of definitions for love, all sorts of ideas about what love is. In All About Love, bell hooks talks about love as “the will to extend one’s self for the… Continue reading Untitled