In so many ways, we were profoundly comfortable and well suited. And you were so nice to me. Affectionate, generous, caring. Dedicated. Loving. Available. Consistent.But too consistent. Frozen in carbonate consistent. Unwilling, if it meant loosening your utter strangle hold, the compulsive denial, the tamping down of your darkness, that actually ran the show. You… Continue reading Untitled
Tag: moving forward
Nearing the Bosque
As is per usual for my cycles of things, I’ve spent the last two weeks or so in a weird funk, anticipating the next stage of my life, which has me leaving the van behind with friends in Texas and traveling to Mexico. “So I’ve noticed a lot of procrastinative anxiety and difficulty articulating the… Continue reading Nearing the Bosque
Next up: The Bosque Village
The conversations have been had, the mutual admiration has been expressed, the values and goals are well aligned, the time is right, the action item list is soft drafted. I’ve the plane ticket and the passport renewal submitted in plenty of time (presuming no catastrophic postal issues) and am thus ready to let the population… Continue reading Next up: The Bosque Village
For Kirsten
I told you so There is nothing So precious As a sisterhood That softly cautions Of ones ability To disregard Our profound knowing Instead, to fill His jagged caverns Brimmed in untapped dark With the naive light Of our hopeful Imagination
The journey that began thrice
Originally, I was planning to leave for Spokane last Friday, giving myself a whole day to prep for the house show I was to be headlining in Spokane on Saturday. Alas, a 3 hour brake job ended up taking all day long on Thursday, setting me back and causing me to be working late on… Continue reading The journey that began thrice
Fluid
Identity. It’s ideally supposed to be fluid, but not too fluid. Stable, but not stagnant. A means of psychic survival, context, and reference. A way to form and rationalize our routines and habits. A way to garner an illusion of a security and control in ones experience, and view of, life. Part of my approach… Continue reading Fluid
Tiny dreams hit the road
As part of Year of the Nee, I’ve recognized a few things about myself that I’d discovered at one time and then lost again. Things like an affinity for dinosaurs, and reading fantasy and sci-fi books. I’ve also gotten back to music by making a very focused album (the whole thing is about patriarchy) in… Continue reading Tiny dreams hit the road
PTSD no moe
EXPERIMENT: Cognitive Process Therapy to address nearly 30 years of a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Fin. Here are the results.
In black and white.
As some of you may know, part of my Year of the Nee (my year of celibacy and no intoxicants) that I began in May (Half way!! WOOO!) included seeking out a more formalized psychotherapy approach. In doing so, I ended up at the Sexual Assault and Traumatic Stress unit at Harborview with a diagnosis,… Continue reading In black and white.
Thanks for that, dude.
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” ― Edmund Burke This Ghomeshi thing, how his friends and community are admitting to knowing he was up to some shit, brings to light some ugly things for me. Ugly things that encouraged me to continue raping in my… Continue reading Thanks for that, dude.