So last night I’m dreaming, and somehow the situation comes to my having to fend off particularly large dogs with only my hands and feet. Generally they weren’t in attack mode, so I could fend them off fairly easily by waving my arms or whatever. Eventually though, this one dog decides to puncture my left shoe with his teeth, and as I am pulling my toes in and attempting to free myself from his grip, I realize that I can no longer rely on arm waiving and fancy footwork to keep me safe from this killing machine.
So, I do what I always do when I’m threatened in my dream. I wake up just enough to recognize the dreamstate so I can control it like a movie. This is pretty much an instant transition by now, I’ve been lucid dreaming since I was a kid. As the fight sequence begins, I kick at the dog with my right foot, and feel my shin hit something on the bed. 1/4 of a second later, I hear the loud thud of my 18lb cat hitting the floor, likely still mostly unconcious himself.
I layed there half asleep and laughing for a few minutes, then went to check on him. Joey, being the fatass that he is, tends to turn to food for comfort when he gets kicked off the bed, or wakes up from a nap, or returns from hanging out outside. I found him in the kitchen with his snout shoved firmly in his food bowl, seemingly unaware that I’d just maliciously punted him off the bed while he was in a dead sleep.
Man was that funny.