#hotline

Lately, I have been very raw and sensitive and emotionally reactive. Being that way comes with effects, which include being oversensitive to damaging others. Things like feeling really gutted for days if I unintentionally hurt someones feelings, and digging too hard into myself to look for subconscious sinister motivation, when I forget or misconstrue boundaries […]

The one thing, I think, that’s saved my life most consistently, was learning that it will pass. Like really getting that. Doing the work to change how I talk to myself when I start feeling unlivable, that I won’t get through. And it’s always those quiet times, isn’t it, when those notions kick in. I […]

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” – Juliette Lewis

Sleep, drugs/alcohol, and death.

“What was it that made you come back and give hope and life another chance?” “You listened.” In terms of reporting, Kevin makes quite a few mistakes here; he speaks graphically about the nature of the deaths, speaks in language that is known to stigmatize those who have completed suicide attempts, and does not give […]

The Real Monsters by Toby Allen

Character designs based on mental illnesses. The artwork is not at all intended to make light of these conditions but instead is intended to give these intangible mental illnesses some substance and make them appear more manageable as physical entities. – Toby Allen An utterly amazing ongoing project which I’ve no doubt has and will help […]

So you’re suicidal: A reference guide for you and yours

Note: This is a personal thinkpiece about living with, and interacting with, suicidal ideaology. The following is not meant to address acute crisis. If you are in danger and need immediate attention, please consider these 10 places to ask for help. I believe that by hiding death and dying behind closed doors we do more […]

If London is a watercolor, New York is an oil painting.

“For in that city there is neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy.” ― Evelyn Waugh The New York subway has its own distinctive scent, like a cocktail of black tar and metal shavings, that I immediately find familiar and comforting every time I retun. You’d think it would mostly smell like […]

“if there’s one thing I want you to know today, it’s that all you need to save a life is a little bit of empathy and a little bit of fearlessness.” – Dese’Rae L. Stage

I was thinking on the bus ride home today, after sleeping until 1pm at the office, that maybe I’d be a good idea to find a gun and blow my brainstem out. I worked on this instead.

God, my music is *dark*.

Does anybody else in here feel the way I do?

I nearly died just to prove to those around me that I wanted to.