Borderline



In the beginning, the plan for Year of the Kat was to get on medication. That, thus far, has not come to pass, mainly due to the runaround and wait times in seeing a psychiatrist meaning I had one single appointment before I left on tour (in which the psyche questioned whether I needed medication […]

My Last Spoon

Inner Voice 1, immediately after taking the first pull in weeks from ther dab rig: “She AGREED to it! How is this NOT her fault?” Inner Voice 2: “You mean it ISN’T our fault all this happened?” Inner Voice 1: “Dude. You warned her about what the fucking cat needed. You told her she was […]

Serendipitous gifts

“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” James Baldwin Just now, I texted everyone I have a current iMessage conversation with “Thank you for being human with me”. It is because […]

Corners Turned

It’s too early to tell precisely. But I suspect I may have stumbled onto something I’d like to do for a while, which helps me to feel less powerless in the world, gets me outside, teaches me to grow food, teaches me about land preservation, restoration, and conservation, shows me how to effectively irrigate using […]

ROAD UPDATE: Pensacola

Originally posted to my Patreon community at https://www.patreon.com/posts/4413008 Mississippi: OH EM GEE you’re heeeeere omg yay! Here, have a welcome center with all kinda free camping with picnic benches and spigots and shit and a FUCKING NASA SPACE CENTER!! Alabama: Fuck you. Welcome center closed. Florida: Fuck you. Show us your vegetables. Then welcome center, […]

Let me get Pretty for you.

Finding Amanda: An internet love story

Amanda Palmer and Courtnee Fallon Rex Photographed by Steve Kuhn The Art of Asking Book Tour. Sat, November 22, 2014. First Unitarian Church – Los Angeles When I was young, I thought I had all the answers. Or at least, I thought I knew the problems, the deeper causes of the things I was seeing […]

A little birdie told me to Keep Going

Photography by Chris Clark Post Processing by Courtnee Fallon Rex Ink by Mike of All Star Tattoo, Tacoma

“Do not fall in love with people like me. I will kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will finally understand, why storms are […]

What’s in a name?

Identity. So, everything, basically. Yesterday I started the transition of my identity from Courtnee Fallon Papastathis to Courtnee Fallon Rex. I tried this name on briefly a while back when I was messing around with choosing one that left me harder to search for but also somewhat easy to recognize. Interestingly, the email account I […]

EMFUCKINGBODIED

I swear I just saw myself for the first time I told myself in the mirror As I cried after connecting so incredibly profoundly with multiple people (And once again meeting another incredible man I can’t have in my life like I would prefer, god damn stupid growth opportunities) “You are.. An amazing woman. And […]

Nee v3.4 Release Weekend

Hola, friends and stuff; Behold, my birthday plans for 2013. Events all over the city, of all different types and levels of commitment, over the course of 4 days. If you wanna celebrate Nee v3.4 with me, here are your options! Also: For those inclined: Gift ideas this year: Bitters, Tiny House Fund moola, Cooking/Art […]

SEAF 2013

Disclaimer: After a long week on my feet, I am a bit fried mentally, more than a bit exhausted physically, and yet still rather awake and energetic. My creativity is in the shitter, though, so if you’re hoping for poetry unfortunately I doubt you’ll find much this time. You will, however, find a blog entry […]

Self Photographed digital art

Woman Laughing Alone With Salad

Photographed by Mute Photo Concept in Stockholm, Sweden

Mute Photo Concept: digital artwork

Photographed by Mute Photo Concept in Stockholm, Sweden and post processed by me

So I hit the street, and I walk the walk, with big thundering steps. I stand up straight, and I’m breathing deep, like I’m on a mission. I’m heading home, to my sanctuary, where I can unload. Brilliance is coming, I can feel it seething out my pores, vibrating, anticipating its escape. I’m gonna make […]

The present past

I’m conflicted about publishing this. It’s long been hidden in the drafts section of neevita, offline since phuqed.org slipped quietly into the night, like most of the stuff I wrote about back then. There are rape triggers and erotic elements. It’s difficult subject matter and I expect that isn’t limited to how I am reacting […]

“I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on […]

Breaking Bad: R.I.P. XP-30, 2001-2013

Yesterday, while troubleshooting glitching technology, again, rather than practicing music, again, I came to a place of silence. I stopped hitting buttons and searching google, and sat, and thought. I had already emailed the event coordinators for Tomb and the Womb and said that due to technical difficulties I would not be singing “Covering Lisa” […]

Considering this as my new personal motto. “It’s not my job to make you a better man and I don’t give a shit if I’ve made you a better man. It’s not a fucking woman’s job to be consumed and invaded and spat out so that some fucking man can evolve.” ~ Jenny Schecter

When I can’t sleep

Oh, the things you find in your Scrapbook on DeviantART at 3:20 in the morning.. http://neebow.deviantart.com/art/When-I-can-t-sleep-188293981 (Very NSFW) And something I thought would have been long deleted.. http://neebow.deviantart.com/art/Empire-of-Sadness-56112016 (Might be NSFW) Empire of Sadness, indeed. It’s creepy what shows through in art long before you realize it in reality, and how it takes hindsight to […]

Stars cannot shine without darkness, ya bunch of hippie dippie happyloving fuckers.

They can’t all be masterpieces.

“You tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more, tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake… You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that.” ~ Warsan Shire