Serendipitous gifts

“The role of the artist is exactly the same as the role of the lover. If I love you, I have to make you conscious of the things you don’t see.” James Baldwin Just now, I texted everyone I have a current iMessage conversation with “Thank you for being human with me”. It is because […]

HEALING UPDATE: When I am ready, I do NOT fuck around.

^^^^ This is what waking up clean, in a clean bed, that I can stretch out in, looks like. Thank you SO MUCH to my pals Michael and Jill for gifting me with a hotel room last night. I needed it. Lemmie tell ya why: I’ve been coming to a clearing for a while, since […]

No more I Love You’s

“I am starting to tire of these memes and these standards. I am beginning to feel as though the stringent ‘enlightened’ perfectionism in what ‘relationship’ is supposed to look like and what love is supposed to look like is just as damaging as other dehumanizing expectations inherent in society. I look at these standards and […]

“Letting go of a relationship is letting go of a form. It occurs when the love that you are cannot be expressed in the container of the relationship, in the form that it is in. For as your heart has continued to grow and expand, you may find that the current form of your relationship […]

“Twenty years ago, if you had told me I would be doing what I’m doing now I would have said you’re crazy. There is no way I would have believed you. We each walk a path that is our own. It isn’t always pretty. It can be painful. Messy. Destructive. And we experience things that […]

“You torment yourself wondering how they could not love your burning heart; the answer is, darling, you are not the star you thought you were. You are the fucking universe, and not everyone is an astronaut.”

Adios, Austin!

Leaving with an expanded resume, a touched heart, my hands full of new helpful tech, and a head full of ideas. Also I learned that sometimes there ARE good reasons, to water dirt. Get updates at http://patreon.com/courtnee

24 hours

The artwork I’ve made in the last 24 hours. About 12.5×6″ Ballpoint, ink, watercolor. From top, my friends: Fedora El Morro, Eliza Skeffington, and Dreadful Jonquil.

Road update from Bozeman, MT

I’m back on the road as of Sunday, after spending a full week staying with friends in Spokane. I mostly rested a lot, took many baths, ate ice cream, and hung out. Van life is also a lot more comfortable now that I got the windows tinted. NW Solar in Spokane did a great job […]

Maui 2015

Back in April, with a little help from my friends, I returned to Maui for a week, where I was expertly whisked directly from the airport to Baldwin beach. OH GOD THE WATER SO GOOD SO GOOD OH GOD OH GOD SHO GHOOOOOOOD OH GHAAAAAD — Facebook Mostly, I spent my time sleeping, reading (the Percy […]

A place to lay my head

Over the last two days, with the guidance and collaboration of my friend Chris, I used a hacksaw, a jigsaw, both a table AND hand held grinder, an oxygen torch, assisted with two types of power saws and a drill press and all sorts of other shit I don’t even remember, in order to make […]

Beauty in the Breakdown

I had come to the title for this piece while it was in progress a couple weeks ago. It’s fitting that I finally finished it today, which was largely spent processing through a complex and incredibly irrational emotional trigger. I figured it out, and figured a few side notes out, too. Like that my ex […]

“Love is challenging in all its forms. Familial love, love in friendship, love in romance. Love in our relationships with ourselves. There are all sorts of definitions for love, all sorts of ideas about what love is. In All About Love, bell hooks talks about love as “the will to extend one’s self for the […]

Behold: The Itty Bitty Hizzy Committee

Building a kickass little house is awesome! Building a kickass little house is also a lot of work, requiring a lot of skills, many of which I do not yet have, as well as many other skills I do have but probably can’t exercise all at once. Are you shitballs excited that the Tiny House […]

Listening: The Secondary Trauma.

“If you are a man who is becoming upset/depressed/overwhelmed/hopeless/defensive when you listen to the women in the world/your life talk about their experiences, you need to talk about it. With another man. I really, really mean this. You absolutely need to talk to another guy. A guy you are friends with and who you trust […]

Revenge of the nerds.

Due to recent experience and lessons therein, I am purposely avoiding reading about the sorority murders or following the story right now. But what’s most interesting about that, is how little I need to follow that story in order to grasp what’s going on. Of all the murmurs I have heard about Elliot, and what […]

Sketchbook update

First page with color in my tiny sketchbook. It will be full by summer, I’m betting.

A word on friendship: Featuring Brenè Brown

There are moments in people’s lives, people who decide to move through the world ever growing and opening their hearts, where a pattern of truth can no longer be unseen. Here’s the tricky part about compassion and connecting: We can’t just call anyone. It’s not that simple. I have a lot of good friends, but […]

Epic motorcycle trip is Epic

After crunching the numbers and needing a long walkabout about now anyway, I’ve determined that I will be riding the motorcycle solo down to Palm Springs and back to take my Grief Recovery Method certification workshop next month. My definite stops on the down route will be looking something like: Portland, Grants Pass, Crescent City, […]

Can has accordion? (NSFW)

I’ve been itching for an accordion for a couple years – a little one, that suits little me, and doesn’t have too many bass buttons and isn’t too heavy. Generally, the less complicated, the better, for a musician like I am. I had a musty Milano at one time, which was a bit too big […]

“It’s ok you know, to be carried now and then, strength too needs a rest.” -Tyler Knott Gregson-

In defense of the men

Lately, I’ve been observing a few racial and feminist activists on twitter complaining about white people and men (especially white men) butting into their conversations about their experiences of oppression. It’s been an interesting ride. I mirror a number of the sentiments and questions those white people have posed to black activists, and very much […]

Hawaii

Drove a convertible across Maui today taking most of the daylight to soak in the road to Hana and a ton of side trails and stops. Wireless access in the Hana Bay yurt we are staying in is better than the Sheraton in which we were charged a $30 a day resort fee for it […]

EMFUCKINGBODIED

I swear I just saw myself for the first time I told myself in the mirror As I cried after connecting so incredibly profoundly with multiple people (And once again meeting another incredible man I can’t have in my life like I would prefer, god damn stupid growth opportunities) “You are.. An amazing woman. And […]

“Finished” sketches

These drawings represent a few milestones for me artistically. Firstly, it is while creating these tiny sketches (2×3″) in my sketchbook yesterday that I was able to draw, for the first time in memory, a recognizable likeness on purpose. And then I did it again, multiple times! Secondly, as to my emerging cartoon style, I […]