Archive for the ‘OPC’ Category

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

“When we have the courage to publicly heal our wounds, our entire community is given greater access to their healing as well.” – Nekole Shapiro

Tuesday, June 24th, 2014

“Remember that changing an entrenched family pattern is only for the boldest among us.” – Harriet Lerner

Friday, June 20th, 2014

“My words may not be pretty enough for you, but they are true and they are mine.” – Mariann Martland

Listening: The Secondary Trauma.

Thursday, June 19th, 2014

“If you are a man who is becoming upset/depressed/overwhelmed/hopeless/defensive when you listen to the women in the world/your life talk about their experiences, you need to talk about it. With another man.

I really, really mean this. You absolutely need to talk to another guy. A guy you are friends with and who you trust is ideal.

If you don’t have that kind of guy in your life- and, seriously, you are not alone in that area- then you have the very hard, critical work of figuring out how to make that kind of friendship ahead of you. If you are feeling a restless helplessness over all of this, that can be your challenge.

And if you are a guy who has already figured this out- if you’ve already figured out the circle thing and the male friendship and intimacy thing and how to be supportive of women thing- then my personal challenge to you is to go and find the guys in your world who haven’t totally made this connection, and pull them into your circle. Mentor them. Teach them how to do what you’ve figured out to do.

Seriously, I can’t do that. Your girlfriends and lady friends and moms and sisters and classmates and bosses can’t do that. But you can, and that is absolutely invaluable.

Women need men to learn how to be emotionally connected to other men. We need men to learn how to draw emotional support and nurturing from other men. Not to do that in absence of us, but in addition to us. Because men being isolated and lonely- it really, really is killing us.

Men and women, it is really killing us.”

Notallmen/Yesallwomen, secondary trauma and relearning everything for the sake of not killing each other

Sunday, June 15th, 2014

“When the universe is ready for your transformation, the energy is unforgiving. Either you allow it to transform your life with ease, or it will tear shit apart, starting with your self image, and the life you’ve built up that is not based on the truth of your soul.” – Jerome Braggs

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014

“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man’s-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again.”
– Pema Chödrön

Tech: The Newest Frontier of White Supremicy

Monday, June 9th, 2014

I was just talking with an old friend about the ‘boys club’ we were a part of when I worked with him in tech.

This article, in my opinion, is spot on – and I relate to the experiences of invalidation, lack of support, and having the sexist and marginalizing behaviors of others defended against rather than questioned; by myself, included.

At the time, I thought this was normal. Thanks to a lifetime of choosing to date within this, and another sexist white-male dominated field (law), I am finally getting fed up, I no longer believe ‘normal’ is this case.

The Newest Frontier

Monday, June 9th, 2014

“Ours is a culture that treats grief — a process of profound emotional upheaval — with a grotesquely mismatched rational prescription” – Maria Popova

We need Allies, not Gentleman.

Monday, June 9th, 2014

Learn to be an accountable presence working on your shit, not merely a non-rapist or a non-murderer. Because communicating ‘It’s/I’m not like that’ instead of ‘I’m so sorry that happened, what do you need,’ is being ‘like that.’

Sunday, June 8th, 2014

“Be wary of your desire to just seek proof of your goodness, rather than actually being a good person” – Nora Samaran

Saturday, June 7th, 2014

“The greatest gift you can give someone is your own personal development.” – Jim Rohn

Friday, June 6th, 2014

I finally get why our history was so cavalierly bloody. In the old days before blocking and email filtering, we’d just have to kill ya.

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Never trust someone who identifies as incapable of throwing a fit. All that means is they’re doing it silently, probably most of the time.

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.” – Cynthia Occelli

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

“You,” he said, “are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world, and that, I believe, is why you are in so much pain.” ― Emilie Autumn

The path to Enwhitenment

Tuesday, June 3rd, 2014

This is one of the most brilliantly written, keenly observed social criticisms I’ve ever read.

It rings in part for just about every spiritual white person I’ve ever met, including myself; I both mirror my own misguided aspects of it, and fiercely recognize this as a set of core ideals in SO many people I’ve known in my life;

Known, and deeply, deeply disliked.

I wish I had had this to send them, to articulate my stance for me, back when I still put up with them, and people who choose to be like them.

Behold, the path of #Enwhitenment

A Gentleman’s Guide to Rape Culture

Friday, May 30th, 2014

Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.

If that pisses you off, read here for some well thought ideas on what you can do about it. If it doesn’t piss you off, read here to learn why it should.

View story at

Wednesday, May 28th, 2014

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. – Aristotle

Regarding Elliot

Monday, May 26th, 2014

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.” – Margaret Atwood.

Monday, May 26th, 2014

“Imagine if your beliefs guarantee you can never get to where you want to go” – Tony Robbins

Sunday, May 25th, 2014

“The reason I’m stronger is that I’ve done the work.” – nee

Brenè Brown: A Video Walkthrough.

Sunday, May 25th, 2014

“Maybe stories are just data with a soul.” -Brené Brown

I shared this 2010 TED speech long ago, and longer still before that, and I will keep periodically sharing and adding new talks as Brenè continues in her incredible work.

Her follow-up from 2012 is awesome, too, and reminds me of many, many things I’ve talked about here for nearly 20 years on neevita.

“If you’re not also in the arena getting the shit kicked out of you, I’m not interested in your feedback.” – Brenè Brown

And even still, she continues to expand her message, her knowledge and her biting insights into showing up, being seen, and getting the shit kicked out of you for it.

“What I do is enough.” – Joan Halifax

I was in the audience for this longform interview with Chase Jarvis and Brenè back in April, and had the opportunity to meet her afterwards to discuss the education certification that is offered based upon her work. I was truly honored.

“(only) Share with the people who have earned the right to hear your story.” – Brenè Brown

I’m incredibly grateful that Brenè is out there doing what she is doing the way she is doing it. Her willingness to share her own story of evolution and cultivating self worth as she researches a universal human condition is a combination I find endlessly inspiring. I am always moved by her presentations and feel with her sharing a gust of wind at my own back.

As far as I am concerned, her evolving messages are required consumption for anyone who values facing the world with integrity, as well as those who struggle to both discover, as well as learn to be, who they really are.

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Friday, May 23rd, 2014

“Nobody will protect you from your suffering.” ― Cheryl Strayed

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

“Artists are people driven by the tension between the desire to communicate and the desire to hide.”
― Donald Woods Winnicott

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

“We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.” – Richard Buckminster