Life in the Fast Lane: A Thanksgiving invitation for my experimental/sociopolitically-motivated friends:

Howdy facebook. How’s it hanging. As y’all surely know, it’s Thanksgiving in the U. S. this week. And if you’ve been around here much in the past, you might remember a little bit about what I think of Thanksgiving. :poop emoji: I’m taking a bit of a different track this year, and I wanna share […]

In contrast to this Black Sparrow clusterfuck, I’m periodically thinking of someone named Heather Dwyer. Heather is the person from 4 culture who contacted me a month after a grant application due date to let me know that my application was almost complete; I just needed to upload work samples, and if I could do […]

The Black Sparrow is dead

So things changed for me yesterday. I was tagged by a stranger in a post indicating that the birthday party I had been hired to play at Black Sparrow was moved to another day/band. This was in addition to no longer having access to the place I’d anticipated staying for multiple weeks in the area, […]

Borderline



In the beginning, the plan for Year of the Kat was to get on medication. That, thus far, has not come to pass, mainly due to the runaround and wait times in seeing a psychiatrist meaning I had one single appointment before I left on tour (in which the psyche questioned whether I needed medication […]

2017 Arc Fellowship Grant

Submitting this application nearly didn’t happen. If not for Heather at 4culture encouraging me to submit work samples a month after the official deadline had passed, I’d have not been in the running for this $12,000 grant. Here’s what I’d forgotten I wrote, and the work samples I included. Inspiration: I am compelled to create […]

OptimumDesk.exe / ODService CPU hog won’t uninstall

My last 24 hours: 1) Did the steps in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyYB07SUPcI&feature=youtu.be to confirm the title executables were the reason dad’s win10 machine blared at 99% cpu usage unless in safe mode — did all those steps with every instance of eventvwr or task manager taking upwards of 4 minutes to load. 2) Found this, which confirmed […]

Sunday Checkin: Year 3 – from Seattle to SMF

I’ve been on the road for two weeks now, mostly visiting friends and family with a day or two of driving time in between. I’m updating from Sacramento on the day of whitewashed gaslight homage that is thanksgiving, better known as day of mourning, in which we not only continue to ambiently ignore but also […]

On minimization as patriarchal reflex

To follow up on that post about at least starting to learn about something that is painfully obvious to women: patriarchy inflicts the stress of constant bodily vigilance at best and acute terror at worse: All the comments were amazing. So many stood out, like those that reported on strategies for increasing safety in taxis. […]

#metoo

A meditation on what comes after #metoo After a long few days I finally crashed like a brick last night. I am so tired. I am so tired of the groupthink onus being on victims of abuse, to rehash, to out themselves, to display their pain, to direct. What can you do? Figure out why […]

#hotline

Lately, I have been very raw and sensitive and emotionally reactive. Being that way comes with effects, which include being oversensitive to damaging others. Things like feeling really gutted for days if I unintentionally hurt someones feelings, and digging too hard into myself to look for subconscious sinister motivation, when I forget or misconstrue boundaries […]

Open mic at Ould Triangle

Did a spontaneous open mic last night as a means of dusting myself off. It was a nice enough experience, largely because my pal Carl, whom I hate with the fire of a thousand suns for all eternity, was there hanging out with me. In terms of the venue, I doubt I will be back. […]

Finally figured out who this was for

Brought to you by Instagram

I’ve been observably manic since last week, and my appointment with my social worker was canceled this week. I’ve fallen into the online social justice trap after a successful march on Sunday where I stepped into the opportunity to utilize my skills and street medic, expecting that I would have the aftercare of a therapy […]

SOLD!

at Mr Darcy’s Opening Night​ curated by http://crystal-barbre.com Current inspirations: http://www.clockworkart.com http://reddwalitzki.com

The Year of the Kat

In 2014, I began the Year of the Nee, choosing to go a year (and change, it turned out) celibate and without intoxicants of any kind. Overlapping that year, the two years of unofficial survival experimentation of #vanlife began. And now I float, disconnected, purposeless, again in need of healing and self acceptance. It’s about […]

Where do we go from here

Having that fucking IUD out is a such a godsend. I still haven’t felt any more pelvic pain! And now after two blows of sextrust related trauma in the last month, I am back to having zero interest in sex again anyway and feel sure about putting off sterilization, so I won’t be dealing with […]

Sunday Checkin: Cloud Cover Video, and Kathy Griffin Parody

Cloud Cover Video My apologies for getting this show video to you so late. I made the mistake of watching video of performance that was outside of my cannon which I did for the fun of it while I was deeply depressed, and launched myself into a tangent impostor syndrome crisis for a while. That […]

WIP: I Hate The Fucking Internet Today

I’m working on a maxi-single for I Hate The Fucking Internet Today while simultaneously fleshing out the lyrics (WIP = Work In Progress, afterall). It will be 5 songs I think, 4 of them versions of this one, and I think I’m gonna tack on What Kind Of Asshole Are You. I have a fast/cute […]

#triggerwarning #mentalhealth

#triggerwarning #mentalhealth I’ve been struggling badly with my mental health since last fall. It’s been pretty awful in general, and then the small shred of resource and sanity I felt I had — my van/house/freedom — did what vanhousefreedom things do when they have 204,000 miles on them, and started breaking things. Expensive things. While […]

Sunday Checkin: Mostly visual art stuff

Hallo comrades, I’ve been working on a few visual art projects since last update, including the examples above. I got the idea for creation of these portraits after seeing the high tallies of a handful of my patrons ‘lifetime’ contributions and being pretty fucking blown away by your generosity. I wanted to do something nice […]

Well, here we are again.

After some time keeping my head barely above water, my hearts busted open into a suck wound of fuzzies and my brain is linking up solutions again. Good night!  What will I wake up to, though? Ugh, I hate waking up. Maybe that adjustment today worked, but I can’t know until I sleep how things […]

10 more things I’ve learned on the road, year 2

I am solidly into my second year of vanlife. Here are 10 more things I’ve learned since last time.  Spraying swampy sockfeet with 90% isopropyl at the end of a night means you have fresh socks to put away in the morning after they’ve dried. Actually, a spray bottle of hefty alcohol is pretty much a […]

New experiment

For the summer: Focus only on artistic and social justice related projects that I would want to post about on patreon or my mailing list.  Tired of social media. 

Shutting down this mailing list!

Thank you to everyone who has been keeping up with my meanderings via this blog list. I don’t use this blog for public posts much anymore, so I am shutting this portion of my list down. I will continue to send mails when I update the neevita.net main site. Please join my Patreon to keep […]

Revisiting The Rape Song

<a href=”http://courtnee.bandcamp.com/album/keep-going”>Keep Going by Courtnee Fallon Rex (Courtnee Papastathis/Not Applicable)</a> I’m tired of pretending what you did wasn’t rape I’m tired of making creepy shit be ok With me So I’m writing this song Calling you out I’m calling you out I’ve been hoping too long You’d get some help Some psychological help Cause fucking […]