Tell the apocalype to go fuck itself. 

Homeless people have the internet in their pockets. Does that seem odd to you? Hollow connectivity think catheter vs… Shelter? Or heat?

How did slipping into this ever make sense to ANYone?

Oh right. Because those creative, and brave, and pissed off enough to fucking take anything status quo like that on, are traumatized and systemically shit on to the point that we’re dysfunctional. To the point that we have to spend so many of our cycles caring for ourselves and licking our wounds and keeping our guns out of our mouths there’s barely any time to do a fraction of our fucking work in the world.

People with significant intersectional privilege, I’m looking at us here. Our comforts come at the cost of our humanity. None of us seem to actually know jack shit about how to fucking relate to each other.

I am also sick of walking down the street and being interacted with in ways that make my fucking ovaries dart up into my lungs it’s so vile and fucking disgusting and debasing. And rapey and sickening and sad. And that angers. Me.

I go out in what used to be my Seattle I feel that icy numb stabbing in my chest at least once, nearly always more. The one that slices like a dream where I’m walking through mud and I can’t react until they’re already gone.

Being intentionally transported to that place without my fucking consent simply for existing down the fucking street angers. Me. Too.

I think it was also intentional to have been conditioned this way, to have these conveniently invisible personality handicaps. I am angry at the oppression I experience and I am furious at the oppressions I have perpetuated by taking so much of what I was handed at face value. 

I think the system of civilization is rigged from every conceivable angle and I don’t know who I am mad at but I am fucking. mad.

Soon, I will start swinging. I will start losing my shit and vibrating vowels and contorted spittlerage in their fucking bugeyed boozeflushed faces.

I am done, trying to be ‘good’. I am done being afraid of my power because I won’t ever wield it perfectly.

Where my people at. Show yourselves. How will you support this? What are you going to do?

We need to take the fucking internet, and our interpersonal artistry, back. We need to figure out how to coelesque NATURALLY through this technology, adjust to its massive scale, instead of this cherry picked gaslighting algorithm garbage, or we need to give it the fuck up and walk away. 

We need to keep examining and resisting our internalized culture around relationships and connection and consider how our partner and kinships not only need to change in regard to abuse culture and harm reduction, but in relation to the changes in technology and how that is effecting us as well.

We need to keep working together and strengthening our bonds and upping our games and finding our kin and digging our species out of this fuckshit hole full of corpses and bloodmoney. 

Sift a fistfull of earth through your clenched fingers. Practice until you know where to put your line in the sand.

We are no longer crabs cruelly resigned to the bucket.
We are frogs in a slowly boiling kettle.
We need to take our risks.

We need to keep disengaging our chains, tendril by suckered tendril.

We need. To wake. The fuck. Up.

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