Patriarchy. I am so fucking angry with you, sometimes I just can’t even.
Angry for me. Angry for them. Angry for what I’ve endured because of how you’ve emotionally lobotomized them. Angry for them because of how you taught to me to push them to be big but force them to stay small. Angry for all of us because of what we’ve done to each other because of what you’ve done to us. Angry. I am fucking angry.
Mostly, I am angry because I don’t know how to be angry with you, and not also with them, yet.
And I’m angry because you fucking taught me that, too.
But I full on fucking see you, patriarchy. I am learning.
And I’m a fast fucking bulldog thrashing typhoon of a fucking learner.
My days of being confused and misdirected by your conditioning are dwindling. One by one your patterns in me are shattering.
And I am coming for you.
With all my moxie and my fury and my cleverness and deviousness and getshitdoneness and my huge broken battered swollenass fucking heart and everything I’ve ever fucking learned from fighting, from watching, every day of my life, I am fucking coming for you.
I’m coming to avenge my pain, to avenge my loneliness, to avenge the safeness I have never had the opportunity to feel because of what you’ve broken in every single person I’ve ever fucking met.
I am coming to avenge the men I’ve loved and fought so hard to help heal from you while being myself encased in your unending dry heaving treachery.
I’m coming to avenge my failures.
I’m coming to avenge him.
And I’ve got people, patriarchy. I’m healing in community, where I am seen, and I spread. All around me, in tiny electrical impulses, I’m helping other people wake the fuck up, laying down the synapses, supporting more people than I’ll ever fucking know in moving beyond your brainwashing.
I’m barreling on a crash course up your fucking ass, patriarchy; dragging mines.
And when I get there, I am going to spend the rest of my fucking life ripping your motherfucking guts out.