I’ve been wrestling with the sense that this year is my last ditch effort at trying to make a living in the arts.
I care for an appreicate the people who support me and purchase my work and come to my shows and help me get art supplies, and that is often what keeps me chugging along. At the same time, I’m really just running out of steam for continuing to put this much effort into a vast collection of diciplines that simply don’t sustain me financially — COMBINED.
I am at a point artistically where I’ve invested more into my work than ever in my life. Yet, more than a few times while prepping for my showing at Poco, I’ve thought about just giving up now.
It occures to me how many times I’ve heard of artists ‘making it’, whever that means, just after pushing through a time like this. I know it’s possible to get just the right attention from someone or something and have a career explode in opportunity. It feels juvenile and silly to hope for that, but at the same time, imagining a life composed of this same stagnent struggle feels a lot worse.
I guess I just want to say, I’m tired, and hope all the time and money and effort and energy and emotion I am putting into getting my art and music out there develops into something concrete and real for me, even if it’s the wake-up call that finally proves to me that I’m just wasting my time.